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Back from the Abyss~ September 5, 2013

Posted by Stella☆LunaC in Mike's Big Adventure in Liver Transplant.
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Another weekend is nearly upon us. Labor Day makes for a short week 😉
I had a glimmer of hope when the nurse called to say they think Mike might be coming back….and he wanted to talk to me.
Apprehensively I told her to pass the phone to him and she did. When I heard his voice, I knew that he was emerging from that dark place that he has been to for so long.
He told me it was a rough day and that he had been doing a lot of thinking and I shared with him that I had learned a lot of things and that our lives were going to be vastly different in a better way. There’s still so much that we have to do and he started to sound a little bit like it was too much for him to handle so we kind of change the topic a little bit… but he came back to it again and said he just didn’t know how we were going to do all of this, there was so much to think about…
I told him we’re going to do it together but he’s not alone and I could hear his voice crack with emotion.
I just about lost it and then he said I wish you could come by tonight. I hated to have to tell him but it was getting so close to desk I told him it would be dark before I got there and I have to turn right back around and come home. You got a little quiet and then in the next sentence he said well just come and get me I’m ready go home. My heart stopped and inwardly I was bracing myself for the verbal assault that would follow once I told him that he wasn’t ready to go home yet until the doctors told him he could go home.
He was there for 10 minutes and gone again in one sentence and then he said he had to go to the nurse had come into the room and I could hear in the background telling the nurse that he was trying to get me to come and that I said he was going to go home tonight and I could hear the nurse tell him no, he wasn’t ready to go home yet and I wasn’t the one who was deciding that.
At that point, I heard him start to protest and then he hung up the phone.

I cried for nearly as long as our conversation had lasted. And then I remembered the man in the classroom who told me his wife had gone through the same thing and suffered the virtual same symptoms that Mike was now exhibiting. He said it was the hardest part, but once she got over that, she was back to her normal self again in no time.

Another fellow knitter contacted me today from Ravelry to tell me he had a liver transplant 15 years ago and was doing fine. He said the first month is the hardest…

Mike’s sister said it’s like the well pump is priming and we’re just getting little glimpses of his return and while it sure was short, it was still there and it’ll be back.

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Comments»

1. KnitNurd - September 6, 2013

This must be very difficult for you both! I’ll be praying for you. My brother-in-law is still waiting to be put back on the transplant list, but until his diaphragm is working, it’s not going to happen. Each day gets worse, but he has an appointment with some specialists in Denver at the end of this month to see if he can have a diaphragmatic pacemaker put in, so he can come off the ventilator. It’s not looking too good at this point, but somehow, he keeps hanging on.

Take care my friend, and I’ll be sending some positive vibes your way!!!
Deedee

Stella☆LunaC - September 6, 2013

oDeeDee I am sending you positive vibes every day and thinking about you every time I walk into UW…I know your brother will get his, the sooner the better!!! Hang in there, sounds like the diaphram pacemaker (*didnt know there was such a thing!) will help get him back so he can get on the list. Soon as that happens, there will be one ready for him!
Hugs to you!!
XOXOXXO
Sandra


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